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Trying to conceive for over 6 years, I want a kid!

Biography

I am 41 and infertile. TTC#1 for 7 years. Finally succeeded with donor eggs.

My diagnoses are:
1. No tubes (bilateral-salpingectomy due to hydrosalpinx)
2. Fibroids (so far not sub-mucosal or intracavitary)
3. Compound Heterozygous MTHFR mutation
4. Missing Beta-3 Integrins (due to endometriosis)
5. Poor responder
6. Mediocre embryo quality
7. Advanced maternal age

Numbers 3 & 4 were recently diagnosed (at MY request!) and probably explain why I haven't had success. Now I am "old" on top of everything else and my eggs stink. I have had two laproscopic surgeries, 5 Clomid IUI's, 4 IVF's (Dec. 2002 chemical, March 2003 BFN, July 2003 Freeze-all, then FET October 2003 BFN, July 2005 with my eggs and a gestational carrier BFN). I am waiting to be matched by my nurses with an egg donor from my clinic's pool. It's been 3 1/2 months, and I'm getting a little pissy...(I'm taking a side trip to South Africa to squeeze in a donor egg cycle) (It worked. The twins are 10 months old, now)

100 Things About Me:

1. I'm a Virgo.

2. I have medium brown hair that I sometimes highlight with blonde streaks and sometimes dye darker.

3. I usually get my hair cut or dyed after a failed IVF or IUI.

4. Sometimes, I get a new pet, too.

5. I have hazel eyes. My brother is blonde and blue-eyed. Fair? Not so much.

5. I went to high school with my husband.

6. We didn't start dating until I was 30.

7. I went to our 5 year reunion, he went to our 10 year, and we went together to our 15 year reunion. Our 20th is supposed to be this year, but nobody planned one.

8. He saved me from working in a restaurant for the rest of my life.

9. I love to cook.

10. I only like to clean, when I know I can get it all done at once.

11. I have a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree in graphic design.

12. I went to 6 different schools in 18 years to finish my degree.

12. I do not have a job.

13. I have parlayed this "trying to have a baby and I can't start a job now, because I might be pregnant," stuff for 4 and 1/2 years.

14. I feel too ADD to have a job right now.

15. My husband is great for not making me get one.

16. I have two dachshunds and two cats. I want a hamster, but don't want to clean the cage. Plus, I'm afraid my dogs or cats might eat it.

17. My dad was born in Belgium. I make good waffles.

18. I am a re-covering Catholic.

19. I am a socially liberal, fiscally conservative Democrat. We are called "Blue Dogs."

20. I get a pedicure once a month, except November - February.

21. My favorite flowers are peonies.

22. Originally, I wanted three children. One boy and two girls. I even bought the book, "How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby." Now, I will take whatever I get, and be damn happy about it.

23. I was in a sorority, but only enjoyed it for the boy-meeting possibilities.

24. My mother made me join her sorority, but I really wanted to join my grandmother and aunt's sorority. They did not give my mother a "bid," even though she was a "legacy." This pissed my mother off. Sororities are pretty stupid.

25. I have been engaged three times. Only the last one stuck.

26. I was a below average student in high school, but graduated from college Cum Laude, because I finally started "applying myself." And my husband paid for it.

27. I hate the combination of raspberries and chocolate. I like just about anything else and chocolate. And I like raspberries.

28. White chocolate with raspberries does not make me gag.

29. I have very few fertile friends anymore.

30. Most of my friends are infertile.

31. Most of them do not live near me.

32. I used to really like my husband's family, but now they annoy me, more often than not.

33. I think infertility would be easier to handle if you didn't have family asking about it all the time.

34. I have lived in 14 different places since I was born.

35. I don't think I ever want to live in an old house
again.

36. I will eat just about anything except canned peas and lima beans, unless they are hidden in a soup or casserole.

37. There are some Asian foods and organ meats I have yet to try, though.

38. I tear up a little, whenever I sing "The Star Spangled Banner."

39. I hate that Republicans think they have the monopoly on patriotism and religion.

40. I was married at The Graceland Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas.

41. I had a formal ceremony and reception three months later on the 4th of July.

42. Both weddings were fun.

43. My favorite thing to do on Sunday morning is watch Sunday Morning on CBS in bed with coffee, my husband and dogs.

44. Sex is also fun on Sunday morning, but only before the show starts.

45. I love my king size Tempurpedic adjustable mattress.

46. I think my bad back is worse since I got it, though.

47. I am addicted to Survivor and The Sopranos.

48. I lost my virginity when I was 17.

49. He had spiked hair then, and is now schizophrenic.

50. I just thought he was avant gard.

51. My husband was the Homecoming King, class Treasurer, played soccer, basketball and golf in high school, and got a full-ride scholarship to college.

52. I have since learned that I like to be the avant gard one in my relationships. I don't need the competition.

53. We drive a newer hybrid Honda and an old beat up Toyota.

54. I can't wait for the day they start making hybrid mini-vans, and I have an excuse to buy one.

55. I buy things for my future children.

56. I think of this as being prepared and spreading out the payments, rather than jinxing myself.

57. Maybe I'm wrong.

58. I did have a jinxed car once.

59. It was a red convertible, and it was in 7 accidents in 3 years. Only one was my fault, and I was not even in the car for 5 others.

60. I also got 5 or 6 speeding tickets in it.

61. I don't find the need to drive much anymore.

62. I kissed my husband on our first date.

63. I was trying to follow "The Rules," but he was delicious!

64. I knew he was "the one," immediately, because of how he treated my golden retriever.

65. I am on a friendly basis with all of my long term ex-boyfriends.

66. Except one I lost track of. I'm sure we would get along fine if we met again, though.

67. My parents divorced when I was 11.

68. I was secretly glad, because I wanted to live with my dad.

69. I wound up having to wait until I was 16 to live with him.

70. By then, I kind of wished they hadn't gotten divorced.

71. I once won a "Beautiful Legs," contest. I used to run track.

72. I was a Face Painter at Six Flags when I was in high school.

73. I thought it would look good on a resume.

74. My parents bought me a bassett hound for my third birthday.

75. When she licked my face, my mom said she was "kissing," me, to show her affection. So I licked her face too.

76. My mom told me not to do that anymore.

77. I still let my dogs lick me on the lips.

78. My dad once pinned a diaper pin through my hip, and couldn't figure out why I was crying.

79. I jokingly told him that's why I'm infertile.

80. I learned to swim when I was 8 months old.

81. I know how to program a VCR.

82. I have braces, because 3 of my baby teeth never fell out, and they are pulling the permanent teeth in.

83. It's not going very well, and I'm tired of looking like a freak.

84. I don't think I will ever be able to fit into my wedding dress again.

85. I have never gotten around to having it "preserved."

86. When my mother was little, she wanted to have a daughter named Edith.

87. I am glad she grew out of that idea.

88. She wanted to legally change my name to Felicia when I was 6.

89. Thank God that didn't happen. I couldn't imagine being called "Fellatio," my whole life.

90. My dad insists he came up with my first name. What he didn't tell my mom, was that it was an ex-girlfriend's name.

91. I am a closet Neil Diamond fan.

92. I have a re-curring dream about underground lakes and rivers with crystal clear water and dazzling light reflections.

93. I generally do not go to baby showers.

94. But I always send a gift card.

95. I am the oldest grandchild on my mother's side.

96. My maternal grandmother has Alzheimer's.

97. I am more afraid of me or my husband getting Alzheimer's than I am of being childless.

98. I would really like to have children, though.

99. I may be a pyro, because I like fireplaces and campfires so much.

100. I am a "glass half-full," person, still.